Why is it important to improve one self, including you and me


It has been a week I have not write anything here. Sorry guys, my office work load is huge, the last one week. I am here again. Cheers! Hurrah! :)

In this hard time of the economy situation with fuel price hike, rice price skyrocketing, food shortage, we need to be composed. Am I right?

Sometimes, when all our doubts, fears and insecurities wrap ourselves up, we always come up with the idea of “I wish I was somebody else.” This is just an excuse. More often than not, we think and believe that someone or rather, most people are better than us.- when in reality, the fact is, most people are more scared than us. Believe me, they are in the same boat like us.

You spot a totally eye-catching girl sitting by herself at a party, casually sipping on a glass of juicy orange juice. You think to yourself, “she looks so perfectly calm and confident.” But if you could read through her naked mind, you would see a bunch of clouds of thoughts and you might just be amazed that she’s thinking “are people talking about why I am seated here alone?… Why don’t guys find me attractive? …I don’t like my ankles, they look too skinny… I wish I was as intelligent as my best friend.”

We look at a young business entrepreneur and say “Wooh… what else could he ask for?” He stares at himself at the mirror and murmur to himself, “I hate my big eyes… I wonder why my friends won’t talk to me… I hope mom and dad would still work things out.”

Isn’t it funny? We look at other people, envy them for looking so outrageously perfect and wish we could trade places with them, while they look at us and thinks of the same thing. We are insecure of other people who themselves are insecure of us. We suffer from low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence and lose hope in self improvement because we are enveloped in quiet desperation.

Sometimes, you notice that you have an irritating habit like biting off your finger nails, having a foul mouth, and you – of all people, is the last to know.

I have a friend who never gets tired of talking. And in most conversations, he is the only one who seems to be interested in the things he has to say. So all of our other friends tend to avoid the circles whenever he’s around, and he doesn’t notices how badly he became socially handicapped – gradually affecting the people in his environment.

One key to self improvement is to LISTEN and TALK to a trusted friend. Find someone who you find comfort in opening up with even the most gentle topics you want to discuss. Ask questions like “do you think I am ill-mannered?”, “Do I always sound so argumentative?”, “Do I talk too loud?”, “Does my breath smell?”, “Do I ever bore you when we are together?”. In this way, the other person will obviously know that you are interested in the process of self improvement. Lend him your ears for comments and criticisms and don’t give him answers like “Don’t exaggerate! That’s just the way I am!” Open up your mind and heart as well. And in return, you may want to help your friend with constructive criticism that will also help him improve himself.

One of Whitney Houston’s songs says “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” True enough. In order to love others, you must love yourself too. Remember, you cannot give what you do not have.

Before telling other people some ways on how to improve themselves, let them see that you yourself is a representation and a product of self improvement. Self improvement makes us better people, we then inspire other people, and then the rest of the world will follow.

Stop thinking of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget the repetitive thought of “If only I was richer… if only I was thinner” and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step to self improvement. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to find out at the end that we’ve got 10 more reasons to envy them. Remember, God has created every human being fairly. There is no difference each of us in the eyes of the God.

We all have our insecurities. Nobody is perfect. We always wish we had better things, better features, better body parts, etc. But life need not to be perfect for people to be happy about themselves. Self improvement and loving yourself is not a matter of shouting to the whole world that you are perfect and you are the best. It’s the virtue of acceptance and contentment. When we begin to improve ourselves, we then begin to feel contented and happy.

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2 Comments so far

  1. M. Nasir on June 16th, 2008

    Thank you for your email. I learn a lot from your articles. I wish I could like you, and I ‘ll try my best to understand, eventhough it seems difficult to me.

  2. roslimh on June 16th, 2008

    Hi M.Nasir,

    Wow..are you the great sifu? Am honored if you are. If not, well I am greatful too with your compliment. Kindly advise me which part you need more clarifications. I will do my level best to help you here.

    Have a great day.

    Salam.

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